[sleep-over voice] are you awake
[sleep-over reply voice] yeah
[regrettable sleepover invitee voice] you guys SHH
[confused sleep-over voice] what is the meaning of life
[annoyed sleep-over voice] dude shut up
[sleep-over host voice] you guys be quiet my moms gonna hear us
[unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs
[heavy breathing from under the bed]
the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again
at 2:35 (i was off at 2:30) today i was still at the front registers because we were busy and this woman comes into my line with 5 stuffed animals and a pair of earrings. four of the stuffed animals were identical teddy bears. one was a dumbo plush.
so she says “this needs to be two orders,” which is fine, standard. i ask her which items i need to split off and she says “all the teddy bears are together.” i ring the four teddy bears, bag them, and she pays for them, then i begin ringing her second transaction, the dumbo and the earrings. she says “oh, that should have been with those” and points to the bag.
instead of letting me do the dumbo plush on its own, she makes me return the teddy bears to her, which i have to switch registers to do (where i was wasn’t a return drawer) and ring the transaction again so that they’re all together. i’ll point out in case you’ve never worked a register that this makes no difference whatsoever in price. it does, however, have an astronomical effect on my patience
i dare you to read this and tell me with a straight face that i’m compensated enough for my trouble
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Uterus, I do not understand your need to have a baby. We cannot afford a baby. I do not want a baby. Hell you wouldn’t even be happy if we had a baby. I find these temper tantrums you throw every month we don’t have a baby absolutely unacceptable.
filed under: things celebrities say that the media sweeps under the rug to continue making controversy over them being “awful role models”
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